


The Heart

by the__pigeon



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Crying, Eventual Fluff, Food, Hurt/Comfort, Lamp - Freeform, M/M, Negative Self Talk, Other, Panic Attacks, also i dont really celebrate christmas but merry christmas!, and the first fic im sharing beyond my friend circle, especially to my secret santa uwu, its also my first oneshot, this was completely freeform i had little to no plan for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-24 15:27:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21840160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the__pigeon/pseuds/the__pigeon
Summary: You couldn’t really blame him for being so helplessly in love with all of them.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton
Comments: 6
Kudos: 111
Collections: Sanders Sides Secret Santa 2019





	The Heart

You couldn’t really blame him. He is the heart after all. Full of so much love to give and no way to give it. So much love.

It was after their weekly movie night that Patton really sat down and gave it some thought. They had watched Cinderella (Roman called it the ‘original’ but Logan called it ‘a child’s version of the Grimm Brothers’ original’) together and everything was perfect. They had two different versions of popcorn since Virgil liked his plain and the others liked their’s buttered, they had the perfect amount of pillows and blankets, and the conversations were perfect. Roman would sing along to all the songs, encouraging the others to join in. He and Patton did all the duets together. Virgil would make shrewd commentary on the movie. Logan would even join in at moments, pointing out flaws or inconsistencies in the animation or plot points that didn’t make sense.

It was perfect, and that’s what bugged Patton.

By the end of the movie, they were all very tired, saying goodbyes and going to their separate rooms to sleep. Patton desperately wanted to stay longer, watch a second movie, stay in the living room, all cuddled up and close together. Keep singing with Roman, stay leaning on Logan’s shoulder, continuing to braid Virgil’s hair. Of course, he didn’t say any of this. He didn’t want to bother them. So he hugged them, told a pun to get a rise out of Logan, and left.

You couldn’t really blame him for being so helplessly in love with all of them.

He, on the other hand, definitely blamed himself for it. It’s not like he had anyone else to blame. While he could blame the others, he refused to. It wasn’t their fault he was so infatuated with them. They didn’t ask for this.

He climbed into his bed, wrapping himself in the blanket that he and Virgil had knitted together.

“What colour do you want?” Patton had asked, holding up multiple different colours of yarn for Virgil to see.

“Purple,” he said.

Patton dropped the yarns and picked up the purple one.

“No, blue,” Virgil said.

Patton didn’t question, he just dropped the purple and grabbed the blue instead.

“Wait, purple,” he said again.

Patton grabbed the purple and held it up next to the blue. “How about both?”

In the end, they did a swirling pattern of blue and purple, circling around each other and coming to a joint point in the middle. Virgil let Patton keep the finished blanket, saying that he preferred his own weighted blanket and didn’t need another. Patton slept with it every night, even when he got too hot. He just liked to have it near him at all times he could. He would sometimes take it down to their movie nights, but he was worried that Virgil would think he was overly attached to it, which he kind of was.

He could still smell the smokey cinnamon scent from the hot chocolate they were drinking that night and he held it closer to his nose.

~~~

The next morning, Patton woke up later than usual. It was probably because he stayed up, just holding onto the blanket and wishing to go back to that day. Maybe knit a sweater for Virgil. Maybe stay up late with him, drinking hot chocolate. Maybe sitting side by side, listening to his songs and falling asleep next to each other.

Obviously, he couldn’t do that. All he could do was get dressed, go downstairs and hope the others weren’t awake yet so they couldn’t question why he was up so late.

He went to the bottom of the stairs, and luckily for him, there was only one person still up. Unluckily for him, Roman was humming Disney songs and cooking pancakes, still in his pyjamas. Patton had to grab the banister to stop himself from swooning. After he finally gathered his wits, he descended the stairs and leaned over the counter.

“What are you making?” he said.

“Blueberry pancakes,” Roman said, flashing him a smile. Patton was glad there was a counter between them, because he definitely would’ve hug-attacked him if there wasn’t. “Sorry, you weren’t up, so I thought I’d throw something together for everyone.”

“Well, it smells amazing, Roman!” he said. “You’re a great cook.”

“Not nearly as good as you are.”

Patton did his best not to blush, but he wasn’t sure it worked. “Oh, you’re being too modest.”

Roman flipped the pancake and smiled. “Your baking is just so full of love, you can literally taste it.”

His breath caught in his throat.

“It’s always so nice to eat!”

He let out a relieved sigh. “I’m glad you like it.”

“Like it? I love it!”

Patton nodded, looking at his feet to hide his face which was slowly getting redder and redder.

“Mm, what smells so good?” Virgil said, suddenly lifting his head from behind the couch.

“I’m making blueberry pancakes,” Roman explained.

“Virgil, did you sleep behind the couch?” Patton said. He tried to hide the concern in his voice because he knew that it sometimes upset Virgil to hear it, but he couldn't help but feel worried.

Virgil leaned over the couch and shrugged. “I couldn’t sleep.”

“So you slept behind the couch?” Roman said.

“I probably picked the habit up from-” he suddenly stopped and looked down. Roman silently went back to the pancakes. Patton made his way over to the couch, sitting down. He could feel Virgil hanging above him.

“You can always come to me,” he said slowly. “When you can’t sleep, I mean.” _Am I being too obvious? Is this a normal thing to offer a friend? _“You don’t have to sleep on the floor.”__

__He was worried that Virgil would get mad at him, but instead he nodded. “Thanks, Pat,” he said softly._ _

__“Oh, is Roman cooking today?” Logan said, coming down the stairs fully dressed._ _

__Roman puffed his chest out. “Blueberry pancakes!”_ _

__Patton stood up and clapped his hands. “We’re all awake! We can eat together!”_ _

__For a second, he regretted saying anything. The others were probably fed up with him by now, spending all last night with him and now he wants to spend breakfast with them as well-_ _

__“I’d like that,” Virgil said, climbing out from behind the couch._ _

__“That sounds rather satisfactory,” Logan said._ _

__“Oh, we should get the nice plates!” Roman said, promptly summoning said plates. There were four of them, one made by each of them. It was Roman’s idea to paint them, and Patton of course endorsed it. Logan agreed only after Virgil agreed. It was messy and they got paint everywhere, but the plates were all really nice and everytime they ate from them Patton just remembered that day. The playful quips between Logan and Roman as they argued over the right painting techniques, the soft music that was playing in the background that none of them could remember who started playing but they all sang along to, the nail painting that Virgil just started doing to Patton’s hands halfway through with no warning. It was days like those that reminded Patton of how much he loved the other sides._ _

__This breakfast was no exception._ _

__“You’re a really good baker!” Patton said through a mouthful of pancake._ _

__“Technically you cook pancakes, not bake,” Logan said._ _

__Virgil frowned. “You’d fry them. It’s in a frying pan.”_ _

__“No it’s baking,” Roman said._ _

__“It most certainly is not.”_ _

__“What else would it be?”_ _

__“I literally just said it’s cooking.”_ _

__“There’s oil, there’s a frying pan. Boom. You fry pancakes.”_ _

__“Falsehood.”_ _

__“I’m pretty sure it’s baking.”_ _

__“No, frying.”_ _

__“I am certain it’s cooking.”_ _

__Patton couldn’t help but laugh. They all turned to him._ _

__“Sorry,” he said, not sure whether them all looking at him made him feel good or bad. “It’s just… such a silly thing to argue about!” He smiled. “It just reminded me of why I lo- like you guys!”_ _

__“It’s cooking,” Logan said decidedly._ _

__“If you say ‘it’s cooking’ one more time,” Roman said. “You’re washing the dishes.”_ _

__Logan looked him dead in the eye. “It’s cooking.”_ _

__“Have fun with the dishes then, specs”_ _

__Logan was going to say something else, but sighed, rolling his eyes and taking his finished plate over to the sink. Virgil and Roman finished soon after. Patton took their plates._ _

__“I’ll go help Logan,” he said._ _

__Logan was still heating up the water when Patton gave him the rest of the plates and cutlery._ _

__“You know we have a dishwasher?” he said. “Or you could just unsummon them.”_ _

__Logan took the plates and started washing. “I don’t trust the dishwasher with these plates.”_ _

__Patton leaned on the counter. “So you like the plates?”_ _

__“I did not say that.”_ _

__“You implied it.”_ _

__Logan didn’t say anything, just kept washing the dishes as the smallest, subtlest of smiles teetered around the corners of his mouth. Logan, who chose a robot as his puppet, who told Deceit he feels nothing, who didn’t like smiling on camera, was smiling about something stupid Patton said._ _

__Patton hated that there were tears slowly gathering in his eyes. At least this time he noticed ahead of time and managed to excuse himself, unlike last time. Roman gave each of them colour coded flowers and Patton was crying before he could hold himself back. The others were understandably confused, but at the time he could do nothing more but blubber out an apology and a thank you before sinking out. No one bought it up afterwards, though it was painfully obvious they all wanted to. He was grateful they didn’t, but it still stung when no one asked if he was okay._ _

__He got to his room and collapsed against the door. His room was usually blue and pink and pastel with fairy lights hanging from every crevice and point they could be hanging from and covered from head to toe in gifts and mementos, but he is the heart, and his room responds to him. The fairy lights dimmed down, the walls turning a grey blue. He wiped at his face, hoping the tears would stop before his stupid feelings got in the way of Thomas’s._ _

__That didn’t happen. The tears didn’t stop. Thomas felt a sudden pang of sadness. Patton sat alone in his room for another hour. Halfway through, he crawled over to his bed, grabbing the blanket he and Virgil made, stuffing his face in it, breathing in the smells until he started coughing._ _

__There really was no place he could go in his room that wasn’t covered with items from the other sides. There was nowhere he could go where he could take a step back from these feelings. Honestly, he didn’t want to. He wanted to dwell in them, drown in them, completely live off of them. They hurt, but in a bittersweet way that he _liked _.___ _

____He wrapped the blanket around himself, waddling over to the dresser. A red and gold vase with a blue and white flower sat on top. He picked the flower up, holding it close to his chest._ _ _ _

____He slumped against the dresser, holding Roman’s flower delicately, Virgil’s blanket wrapped around him, thinking of Logan’s smile, his own tears dripping down his cheeks._ _ _ _

____~~~_ _ _ _

____Patton didn’t even realise he’d fallen asleep until he heard a knock on his door._ _ _ _

____“Come in,” he said before he could really think about it._ _ _ _

____“Sorry, I just couldn’t sleep, and you said I could come to you if I needed to and-”_ _ _ _

____Patton looked up at Virgil, who was looking around his room. The grey walls, the dim lights, the small huddle of Patton leaning against the dresser, wrapped in a blanket he made, holding a flower that made him cry, with more tears in his eyes now._ _ _ _

____He pouted, walking over to him and sitting down next to him._ _ _ _

____“Sorry,” Patton said, his voice hoarse. “I might not be the best company right now.” _Don’t waste your time with me. _____ _ _

______Virgil started fiddling with the ends of the blankets, just to do something with his hands. “You don’t need to apologise for anything.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He buried his head in the blanket._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Patton, you’re allowed to feel like however you’re feeling,” he continued, wrapping a tentative arm around him._ _ _ _ _ _

_______You wouldn’t say that if you knew what I was feeling. _  
“And you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” he said. “I’ve found that it helps me, but you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”___ _ _ _ _ _

________Silence._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Virgil sighed. “I really didn’t want to say anything but I have to ask.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Patton lifted his head tiredly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Do you have a crush on Roman?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He looked back at the blanket. On one hand, he didn’t want to lie, especially to Virgil, but on the other hand…_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” Virgil added quickly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________If he said yes, would it count as lying? It is the truth, but it’s definitely not the full truth, and that’s something that’s important to Patton. But if he said the full truth, that would involve telling Virgil that he also likes-  
..._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Do you want to at least lie in your bed instead of against the wall?” Virgil said. Patton nodded slowly, grateful that he had an extra body to help him up and half-carry him over to his bed. He wrapped the blanket over his eyes so he didn’t have to look at Virgil’s face, wrought with worry._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Can I… sleep with you- or next to you! I mean next to you. I wasn’t-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Patton held the blanket up. Virgil hesitates for a second before climbing in next to him, getting close enough to touch him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________A couple minutes pass of gentle silence. With each passing second, Patton wanted more and more to turn around, grab Virgil’s hand, kiss his forehead, just hold him. He gripped the blanket to stop his hands from doing anything._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I do,” he said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He opened his eyes to see that Virgil was lying on his side, facing him. It looked like he hadn’t even closed his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“You what?” he mumbled._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Have a crush on Roman.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He nodded. “I know.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Is it really that obvious?” he said, slightly panicked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“If it makes you feel any better, there’s no way that Roman knows.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Really?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Honestly, you could probably give a really dramatic and romantic speech with a bouquet of flowers and he’d think you’re just being friendly.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Are you sure?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I mean, he does that sort of stuff for all of us, so…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Patton said nothing, just silently festering in his feelings. A couple more minutes pass and something warm presses against his chest. He opens his eyes to find Virgil leaning on him, snoring softly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________~~~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________When Patton woke up, he was certain everything that happened last night was just a dream. And yet Virgil was still curled up beside him, resting his head on Patton’s chest, holding his hand and rubbing his fingers against his palm. Patton took a deep breath, focusing on nothing but the circular movements against his hand._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Sorry,” Virgil said, suddenly pulling his hand back and sitting up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Patton immediately missed the warmth. He wanted desperately to grab him and pull him back, but he knew he shouldn’t do that. That’s too much. “It’s okay,” he said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I should go,” he said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Patton pouted. “I…” he said. _I don’t want you to go. _____ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Virgil smiled sadly. “You should go talk to Roman. I’m sure he’d be willing to…” He stood up, giving him one last sad look. “To…” He scurried out of the room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Patton sat up, holding the blanket to his chest. It was still warm. He felt so cold._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He wrapped the blanket around his shoulders, pulling himself to stand up. Slowly, he goes through the normal morning processes. Get dressed (he struggled to put the cat jumper around his shoulders like he usually does. Instead, he puts it on like a normal jumper, imagining that it was Logan hugging him), half brush his hair, leaving most of it a mess of tangles and curls. It doesn’t bother him. What bothers him is what Virgil said right before he left._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________You should go talk to Roman._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________About what? About his feelings? That was a big no-no._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________I’m sure he’d be willing to…_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________To what? To talk? To listen? To sleep on his chest?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Only one way to find out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________~~~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Knocking on Roman’s door was definitely not new to Patton. He’d done it a thousand times. To tell him dinner was ready, to talk to him about video ideas, just to see him. But what was new was the feeling of dread that was settling into his stomach. Perhaps this was a bad idea. Perhaps spending all night with Virgil may have some side effects, or maybe he was just chickening out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________All it took was three knocks and a two second pause for Roman to swing the door open dramatically._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Patton!” he said, with that dazzling, white smile, sending Patton’s stomach straight to his feet._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Hi Roman,” he said. His voice must’ve shown his panic, because Roman dropped the smile, his brow furrowing._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“You’re wearing the cardigan,” he pointed out. “Well, you’re always wearing the cardigan, but you’re wearing it properly.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He smiled sadly. “Can I come in?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Roman ushered him in, snapping his fingers and changing the room immediately, causing a white and gold couch to appear nearby. Patton sat down, Roman sitting across from him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Is everything alright, Pat?” he said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He took one look at his soft smile, and Patton regretted coming.  
“I…” _I can’t do this. _He brought his knees up to his chin. I shouldn’t have listened to Virgil.  
Roman slid closer to him. “Guessing game?”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Patton nodded silently. It was a trick that they used for Virgil when he was in such a panic that he couldn’t speak, trying to figure out what was wrong._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Roman tapped his chin. “It’s early in the morning, so either something happened this morning or last night, but we didn’t see you after breakfast, so something happened during breakfast?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Patton nodded._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Was it the pancakes? Were they _that _bad?”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He shook his head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Hm… you washed the dishes… with Logan. And then you left. Was it Logan?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Patton didn’t want to say yes or no. He didn’t want to say anything. At this point, he just wanted to melt into the couch._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Not to be shrewd, but it’s quite obvious you have a crush on him.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Patton turned to look at him, shocked._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Sorry,” he said, scratching the back of his neck. “It’s just… you came to me for help, so it would just make sense that it would be something…” Roman looked up and gasped. “Oh, goodness you’re crying.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Patton reached up to his face to see that he was indeed crying. Roman moved closer, summoning a box of tissues, a cup of hot chocolate and a large woollen blanket that he wrapped around Patton._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I... I’m sorry,” he said between sobs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“No, hey, you don’t have to apologise. You’ve done nothing wrong. Honestly I don’t blame you. Logan is rather handsome. Just not quite as handsome as- sorry I’m changing the subject.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Patton grabbed his arm, pulling it closer. He didn’t care that he was being forward, he just wanted a hug. Roman gladly obliged, wrapping his arms around him in the perfect mix of soft comforting and strong reassurance._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“It’ll work out fine,” he murmured. “And if it doesn’t, I’ll do something myself.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“You don’t have to.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He smiled. “I want to. I’d do anything to help you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Patton was glad his face was already so red from crying that the additional blush was basically unnoticeable. “I should talk to him,” he said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Roman hesitated for a second. “Maybe you should stay here. Just for another couple minutes. Until you’ve calmed down a bit.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Patton didn’t hesitate to lean into his arms, wrapping the blanket around himself as he self indulgently laid in his lap. Roman couldn’t keep hugging him when he was positioned like that, so he settled on patting his hair._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Either way,” he said. “Everyone will still love you. FamILY, remember?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Patton laughed softly, grabbing Roman’s hand. “I love you too.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Roman hesitated. “I love you too.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He buried his head in the blanket. This blanket smelt like smoke and roses. A weird yet oddly comforting combination. It smelt like Roman._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He realised that he couldn’t breath and quickly pulled his head up. At least his face was dry now._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I should go,” he said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Roman frowned, but quickly changed it to a smile. “Buena suerte y eres lindo.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Patton nodded, having no clue what he said but hoping it was good. He sat up, giving Roman a ‘boop’ on the nose as he left._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Roman touched his nose softly as Patton exited his room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________~~~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Logan was kneeling by the TV, sorting through the DVDs silently. Patton stopped at the bottom of the stairs. Why did he think this was a good idea? The last two times didn’t really work, so why would it work any better with Logan? It’s not like love is logic’s forte. What was he thinking?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Hi Logan,” he said, because that's a good place to start a conversation. Logan turned around, giving him a small smile that disappeared in seconds._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Hello Patton,” he said, turning back to the DVDs. “We were worried about you after you missed dinner. I’m glad to see you’re okay.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Patton slowly walked over to the couch, sitting on the floor and leaning on the couch instead of sitting on it. “Sorry to worry you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I’m sure it’s fine,” he said. “You never get mad at us if we miss a get-to-together.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He started fiddling with the sleeves of his jumped. “Virgil did seem worried,” he said. “When he came to talk to me, I mean.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“He talked to you?” Logan said, raising an eyebrow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Last night.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Oh yes, I saw him leaving your room this morning,” he side eyed Patton, as if accusatory._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Patton rested his chin on his knees. “What?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“He seemed sad. I was wondering if you had any idea as to why. Though perhaps I’m not the best person to make assumptions about emotions.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“He was sad to leave,” he muttered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Pardon my language, but are you in love with Virgil?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“M-maybe…” Patton had been shaking since he sat down, but now he was practically tremuring. Was he crying already, or were his eyes just blurry? He thought he’d last a little longer this time before bursting into tears like an idiot and embarrassing himself in front of Logan._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________And Virgil and Roman, who were also at the bottom of the stairs now, worriedly watching Patton break down._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I feel like this is my fault,” Roman said, or maybe it was Logan. Patton couldn’t tell, his ears were blocked. It definitely didn’t help they all had very similar voices._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Patton?” Virgil (Roman? Logan?) said. “What’s wrong.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________His heart hurt so much. He didn’t want to say anything, but he felt like if he didn’t he would quite literally burst. Like a heart bursting out of a chest. Literally._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I just love you!” he cried. “So much!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Logan blinked, and tried to nudge Virgil forward, who was busy trying to push Roman forwards, who was trying his best to get Logan to go forwards. Patton was still curled up against the couch, crying._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“No,” Logan whispered angrily to Roman. “He likes Virgil.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Virgil’s shook his head. “No, he told me he liked Roman,” he whispered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“He told me Logan,” Roman announced loudly, getting ‘shhh!'s from the other two._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“It was pretty obvious,” Virgil whispered. “After the whole flower incident.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I thought he just liked the flowers?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“And I thought you were smarter, but turn out you’re not.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“No, but he came to me and we did the guessing game and I guessed Logan-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Which is absurd.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“-and he never said no, so I just went with it!"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“That’s absurd. He told me Virgil.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“You guys are idiots,” Patton said. He was smiling. They all took a step back, unaware that they were even getting closer to each other._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I detest that statement,” Logan said. Virgil elbowed his ribs. He glared at him. “But if you’d like to back it up then I won’t stop you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I love you,” he said again. Roman glanced at the others, before slowly walking over to him and sitting next to him. “A lot.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Virgil grabbed Logan’s arm, pulling him over to the couch and sitting down around Patton._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“That… doesn’t really help narrow it down, Pat,” Roman said. Patton grabbed his hand._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He took a shaky breath in. Telling Virgil he liked Roman was difficult, and telling Roman he liked Logan made him have a panic attack, and telling Logan he liked Virgil made him cry loud enough to summon the others to see what was wrong. He didn’t think he could speak._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“You’re okay, Pat,” Virgil said softly, grabbing his free hand. “It’s just us.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He smiled sadly. “I love you. All of you. So, so, so much. You’re just… everything to me. I want to spend all my time with you, and hug you, and cook you meals, and watch movies with you, and cuddle you, and hold your hand and… I love you. All of you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________There was silence._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I thought I was the only one,” someone said. Patton looked to Roman, only to find that Virgil was squeezing his hand even tighter, eyes glossy._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Roman smiled and crawled forwards, practically sitting in Patton’s lap to be closer in between him and Virgil. “I love you too,” he said, kissing Patton’s cheek then turning his head to kiss Virgil’s. Both ducked their heads, spluttering and blushing. Roman smiled, leaning against the couch before finally turning to Logan._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I can kiss your cheek too, if you want,” he said._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Logan was blushing, but he denied this claim when Roman told the story to Thomas later. “I… am not exactly the most proficient when it comes to emotions and… love. But I…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Roman grabbed his tie and pulled him into the cuddle pile, planting a kiss on his cheek as he half-landed, half-fell into Roman’s lap._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“This is not an optimal position-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Patton leaned down, shutting him up with a small peck on his forehead._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“...Nevermind.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Should we put a movie on?” Roman said. “I mean, I know we had out movie night two days ago but I feel like-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I dibs the corner spot,” Virgil said, clambering to get up from the cuddle pile and rush to the couch._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Wait, that’s my favourite spot!” Roman said. He tried to push Logan off of his lap but he remained planted there firmly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Patton stood up, walking to the kitchen to make some popcorn._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Sorry princey,” Virgil shrugged, already snugly planted in the corner, wrapped in his weighted blanket. “You chose to pull Lo until your lap.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Roman kicked out from under Logan, who fell to the floor with a thud. “And that’s my favourite spot!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________All Patton could hear from his place in the kitchen was Virgil yelling, the sound of Roman jumping on the couch and Logan saying something monotone from his spot of lying on the floor, from which he hadn’t moved yet. Virgil said something along the lines of ‘get off me!’ and Patton smiled._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________You couldn’t really blame him for being so in love. He is the heart after all. Full of so much love and so many ways to show it._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


End file.
